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Vulnerability is one of those things that usually has to be learned. But I'm learning that what that means is that it needs to be re-learned, since it comes naturally to children and they need to unlearn it for some reason sometimes. When I speak from a place of vulnerability I notice that it isn't […]
So I decided to experiment with posting live, directly onto my blog using the WordPress block editor rather than the Brizy builder plugin and doing all of my design stuff. It's preventing me from easily blogging. I need to cut out some work, I can always come back and turn these into what I feel […]
Currently my best friend is my phone. This is because over the last 5 years I’ve lost every friend and “friend” that I had. At first it felt cathartic, many of the people in my life that I considered friends were not and I needed to cut them out.
BLOGJournalingHitting that writers slumpSometimes life has it's ups and downs, and sometimes those downs have a lot of downs.Writers Block?I’ve been having a difficult time journaling recently. For maybe like a month at this point I’ve had very little desire to journal or work on my blog. I still have about 50 unpublished drafts just […]
BLOGChrisNot everything works outIs my dream job just a dream?ChrisI’m finding it very difficult to wait for Chris to respond. I’m very anxious even though he has told me in the past that everything is fine. I kept texting him more and more to get a response even though I wanted to stop texting him […]
BLOGExtreme ThinkingI'm having trouble knowing what is real and what is not"Oh, you tell me to hold onBut innocence is goneAnd what was right is wrong" - Imagine Dragons (Bleeding Out)My Reality Is ShiftingNow that I’m aware that I’m actually living in a reality of extreme all or nothing thinking (and not just unfairly accused […]
BLOGCast OffTime for arms-day at the gym again!My first ordeal of breaking bones is finally over, hopefully, it is also the last!This Cast Stinks!My cast finally comes off tomorrow, or at least I hope it does. They said it would come off today the last time I went in to get it x-rayed and recast. […]
BLOGUpdates On AmazonMy Everything StoryLuck Is What Happens When Practice Meets Opportunity ~ Demetrius the CynicNervous then Excited & ConfidentI want to get into why all of this with Amazon is so important to me that I have been journaling about it specifically and in detail as compared to all of the other opportunities I’ve […]
BLOGCleaning UpLittle by little, things can start to changeSometimes starting to change the big stuff starts by changing the little stuffCleaning up my actOver the last several weeks I’ve been learning to cook. For anyone that knows me, this is big news. It’s not that I never cooked anything, or baked anything, but I have/had […]
BLOGGetting What I WantA future I can hope forI'm not really one for manifestation, but I do need constant help staying optimistic about my futureA letter from the futureI’m not really sure where I learned it, but I decided to act upon the advice. This is a letter to my future self. I’ve talked like […]
BLOGMy Future Love"I love her and it is the beginning of everything." – F. Scott Fitzgerald"The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves." –Victor HugoLove is the whole thingI’m not really sure where I learned it but I decided to act […]
BLOGSome November Journal PostsIt's been a really rough monthUps and Downs are to be expected, especially when one is a person with bipolar disorder. The key to mastering the cycles is... well there is no key to it, or I have not found it yet.I Don’t Know What I’m Feeling11/03/2022 I’ve been thinking about Sarah […]
BLOGUber, Women, and AmazonWin after win after winStaying positive is hard sometimes, but for me (and maybe for you too) it can be imperative to avoid self sabotageLoneliness & Human ConnectionIt has been hard to sit with my thoughts so much with the divorce and EMDR that I’m working through. It is good for me […]
BLOGJudgmentalDoes judgment lead to change?I can't change others, but I can change my self.ChangeSo I recently heard that judgmental thinking is at the root of wanting to change someone. I haven’t looked into it much, but it makes sense. Most of what it made me ponder was “wanting to change someone.” I know this is […]
BLOGCity CollegeThere Are Still Lesson For Me To LearnI'm learning so much since I decided to go to college, and the lessons are so painful, but I'm trying to stay optimisticSchool and Other MemoriesToday Starts my San Diego City College online courses. I’m glad I signed up for these and can do them from across […]
BLOGA Couple Good DaysLoneliness won't last foreverSometimes the people we need in our life find us, and they may not be our life very long at all. But someone we need can make at big impact with only a very short time with us.A Good NightOct 25 Today started out rough, really rough. I wrote […]
BLOGIt's 2amCan you help me unravel my latest mistake?2am, and I'm still awake, writing a blogIf I get it all down on paper, it's no longerInside of me, threatening the life it belongs toAnd I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd'Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loudAnd I know that […]
BLOGNothing New, I ThoughtIsn't it ironic, don't you think?It's funny how sitting down to write about having nothing to write about turns into writing about something. Who would have though? It figures...Ready... Set... Oct 14 I really wish I had something new to write about. I really wish I could feel compelled to write on […]