It's 2am
Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?
2am, and I'm still awake, writing a blog
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer
Inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
'Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to
2am
Oct 14
I went out to go clubbing in Ybor City tonight… or… yesterday? Well anyways it was a switch up since I usually go out to St Pete. I make it seem like I’m so experienced, or at least it sounds that way to me when I read it back. I’m not, I mean I’m not experienced, I’ve only been to St Pete like 3 or 4 times to go clubbing. It was all at the same club, Park & Rec in downtown St Pete. It can be a good time, but it was only my first time that was really good.
Tonight though, tonight was a blast. There are so many bars and clubs on 7th Ave in Ybor City. I walked all the way to where the fun ended, and then walked all the way back to the first club on the street. It was the Ritz Ybor, not the Ritz Carlton though (not crackers either). I had to stand in line, and I did it because I saw so many hot people in that line all night. So I stood in line for a while, and then someone says something about tickets. I butted in to talk to them and they said they ordered them online.
So I googled their website and the tickets were sold out! It said there would be tickets on sale at the door and they would be limited. So I was waiting in line hoping there were still tickets when I got to the front of the link. When I got there, I realized there were not limited tickets, that was just to urge people to buy online. So I paid the $30 for a ticket. I really know what I was getting into.
Tickets?
For a club? $30?
For everyone?
Even the women?
I didn’t ask shy of these questions, it didn’t register at all. I was just going with it.
Then I get in, and I realized it was a club, in the front. But no one was really in the front. Everyone was heading to the back, so I was going with it again. Turns out there was a concert going on, and it still didn’t register that this wasn’t a club thing. Eventually after being in the audience, and seeing almost no one dancing with each other or they were couples, and everyone facing the stage… it clicked. This wasn't a club DJ, it was a live dance music concert. Duh…
I come out clubbing, accidentally go into a club that wasn’t a club tonight, and I end up at a concert
Serendipity
Well anyways, I enjoyed the opener. I forget his name, but it was somethin somethin. Just kidding, his name was actually somethin' somethin'. He was really good, I had never heard of him before, but I enjoyed his music immensely. Then after about an hour, the headliner came out. And no joke, it was Inzo. I was like WTF, I come out clubbing, accidentally go into a club that wasn’t a club tonight, and I end up at a concert, an Inzo concert… all by accident. Serendipity.
This guy was tall, but nowhere near large enough to budge me without overtly pushing me with my guard down.
It's almost 3am
This was my first experience at a concert like this, and EDM concert. I have been wanting to go to one for years, almost 10 years. And it was SO AMAZING. The laser shows, the bass booming so hard I could feel it all through my body, the people all around, and all the lights in general. My favorite part was the DJs stage and how it was all screens, some of the fractal patterns were so cool, and there was one point where he has this stormtrooper helmet animation and was playing a remix of the Star Wars theme! I didn't get a picture of that one, but I did get a video of an animation of what looked like a Gundam! You can see that video directly below, or directly below on the left if you're on desktop or a tablet. I hope you enjoy, I know I always didn't enjoy photos and videos of concerts like this. It just felt like looking at baby pictures of your friends kid online, but not like real friends, those social media friends that you don't really talk to beyond comments and likes. Also the last video was of my favorite laser show, with lasers of every color of the rainbow and then some!
There were a few times when it got really moshy, or at least more of a mosh than I have ever experienced in my very few concert experiences. But I think the funniest part was when this cute girl was dancing in front of me. Well, she went from the side of me, to in front of me, to the other side, and then back in front of me. And this went on for several tracks, as people were moving, not a lot, but moving in their immediate vicinity like we were part of a giant gyrating organism. Which in a sense we were.
But anyways, there was this guy, next to me, and I didn't move at all at this point, I was keeping my feet firmly planted, and had been a bit before this girl came into my area. I was tired of moving around for the people trying move and cut their way through the crowd, so I eventually became the person that they had to move around.
Well, this guy next to me I guess really wanted to be behind this girl, so he kept getting closer and closer to me. He got more aggressive after she moved in front of him for a bit and then over my way again. He was pushing me as hard as he could without overtly pushing me. Bumping me, leaning into me, and just generally as close to me as possible. She wasn't aware of either of us at all. There was one point where I had my arms up, and I guess he had his arms up too, so he moved his arm over towards mine and was really pushing hard against it with his arm. It made me laugh several times, I mean, I was smiling pretty much the whole concert, but I was laughing out loud several times when this guy was doing this.
This guy was tall, but nowhere near large enough to budge me without overtly pushing me with my guard down. He wasn't super skinny, but he seemed that way compared to me. Then at one point the girl straight up left, to go get some water, because she was back in that general area with her other friend I had talked to before the headliner came on. And the guy straight up stopped, moved several feet away from me, like about 5ft, which was the amount to his other side this whole time. Never bothered me again, this also made me laugh several times over the next track at least. I thought several times that he would cold clock me, but I guess he must have thought otherwise if he couldn't budge me... which he tried, very very hard to.
I’m so grateful for everything I’ve experienced the last couple months, because it’s really pushed me to grow.
It was a great night, and now it’s almost no longer 2 am. I better get back home, but I’m so glad these meds help me stabilize so my schedule can be way more flexible. I missed being able to stay up late for a night and it only affect me some the next day. For the last few years, getting off my schedule even a little would throw me into a tailspin.
Who knew? Well everyone that’s been in my life for more than a decade knew. And I really believed that I was fine off the meds, and other people were the problem, but I knew it was me, I just wanted to act like I could deny it as long as possible. I was stubborn. But now it’s great, I take them religiously. And that helps them work their best, which is something I didn’t do or experience for the decade plus before I stopped. These meds are great, so great that it was worth my marriage falling apart to push me over the edge and get on meds just to survive the shock and stress and constant panic attacks. I’m so grateful for everything I’ve experienced the last couple months, because it’s really pushed me to grow. And things are working out, which is giving me hope. Hope that I didn’t have even a month ago. I’m learning patience, and to just go with the flow of where life takes me. It can be very enjoyable to do that between the times that I have to take life by the horns.
And now it's 3am...
Goodnight!